nana- in search... - reminiscence of candy empire

Just returned from candy empire @millenia walk.

As i walked down the mall,
thousand and one memories flashed back in my head.
it was like evry single that happened last week,
is happening again this week.
I could possible every thing that was said and done there.

Walking past the men's shop,
saw the pink lil flowered shirt.
The one that i thought of buying for him
I reely loved that shirt.
So sweet yet masculine.
I passed by, stared at the gorgeous shirt
and wished that its him whos walking next to me.
When we entered CANDY EMPIRE,
i felt like as if my heart is like a glass
that fell right from the sky to the ground.
I dont know.
it breaks my heart into tiny lil pieces.
I was shattered, when I looked at the mini cheezels box.
It is his favourite.
I almost bought that, thinkin maybe i shud give him when we meet..
But i paused.
What makes me so sure he will meet me.
and so i walked....

Bought boxes of chocs for colleagues who had helped me for
the Fashion Show last june.
Spent abt $50 ++
well, its worth buying for them.
without them i wouldn have survived the show.
Gratitude to them..

Left the place
with a heavy heart.
Throughout my outing,
I kept thinking abt him.
I feel lost and empty
HOLLOW.
Kept wondering what is happening
and what have i done
Why am i treated this way.
I am lucky to have my friend who went out with me.
She is reely nice
treated me to fisherman wharf
shes nice, very nice
i wished she was him

This is what i am confused abt.
why cant guys treat me as beautifully as how these girls treat me.
they totally care for me
they dun ignore me
they are sweet towards me.
and best part- they always try to make me happy.

Sigh.
If only being gay isn forbidden......